For all my friends and co-workers who have kids:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OW0A6L9kx4c
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Adventurer's Blood: A Father's Day Tribute
Ok so my dad is shady. But he wasn't ALWAYS shady. He used to be very very cool.
I know why I am on this constant quest for adventure, and thirsting for action: Because
get it from him.
See, my Brother got the "Techie Geek" side of my Dad, but I got the "Adventure" side.
He used to load my brother and I into the car when we'd go to visit my mom's mom and we'd
drive deep into the North Carolina or Virginia Mountains, stop at backwood mini marts and
load up on soda and chips and candy and go hiking in the Blue Ridge Mountains.
It didn't end there: Colorado, New Mexico....Dad took Chris and I all over the place.
If they had mountains, you could bet Dad would drag my brother and I out there.
And we didn't use trails all the time. We'd go trekking off road!
So in honor of the Memory of Dad, Chris and I's crazy adventure, I looked back
at all those adventures whilein Central America and began to analyze what inspires me
and what I love most:
-My Dad(duh)
-Indiana Jones
-James Bond
-Tin Tin
-Hardy Boys(To V.R. from work: SHUT UP!)
-Gabriel Knight....
So now that I am back in the US and close to becoming married, I am going to get off
my ass and have a good summer by going on THE ULTIMATE QUEST!
See, Santa Cruz and the Bay Area is FILLED with Crazy Weird Stuff: tales of ghosts,
legend, history, the forbidden and the unknown!
I intend to find it all! Teaming up with some Ghost Hunter friends of mine(http://www.facebook.com/#!/home.php?sk=group_161651793899913)I am going to go to these places, take pictures(and maybe video!), and write about the journey and my findings.
To do so, I am adding a NEW SECTION to the Happiest Loser Blog...
THE SHADOWHUNTER TALES
Coming Soon To a Happiest Loser Blog Near You!
I know why I am on this constant quest for adventure, and thirsting for action: Because
get it from him.
See, my Brother got the "Techie Geek" side of my Dad, but I got the "Adventure" side.
He used to load my brother and I into the car when we'd go to visit my mom's mom and we'd
drive deep into the North Carolina or Virginia Mountains, stop at backwood mini marts and
load up on soda and chips and candy and go hiking in the Blue Ridge Mountains.
It didn't end there: Colorado, New Mexico....Dad took Chris and I all over the place.
If they had mountains, you could bet Dad would drag my brother and I out there.
And we didn't use trails all the time. We'd go trekking off road!
So in honor of the Memory of Dad, Chris and I's crazy adventure, I looked back
at all those adventures whilein Central America and began to analyze what inspires me
and what I love most:
-My Dad(duh)
-Indiana Jones
-James Bond
-Tin Tin
-Hardy Boys(To V.R. from work: SHUT UP!)
-Gabriel Knight....
So now that I am back in the US and close to becoming married, I am going to get off
my ass and have a good summer by going on THE ULTIMATE QUEST!
See, Santa Cruz and the Bay Area is FILLED with Crazy Weird Stuff: tales of ghosts,
legend, history, the forbidden and the unknown!
I intend to find it all! Teaming up with some Ghost Hunter friends of mine(http://www.facebook.com/#!/home.php?sk=group_161651793899913)I am going to go to these places, take pictures(and maybe video!), and write about the journey and my findings.
To do so, I am adding a NEW SECTION to the Happiest Loser Blog...
THE SHADOWHUNTER TALES
Coming Soon To a Happiest Loser Blog Near You!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
ME FOR PRESIDENT
This was posted on the SF-Bay area "Rants and Rave" section on Craigslist:
-----------
I noticed as of recently, that ever since even BEFORE I could vote, the United States Government has YET to do a SINGLE THING that makes me happy. This country now sucks. Our country is broke, and we’re too worried about being “PC”.
But if I was president, things would go different and heres why: I’m one of those that doesn’t care if something I do or say offends people, as long as what I do/say proves a point or accomplishes a objective. And let’s face it sportsfans: If you are on TV or in view of the public, eventually you are going to offend someone, and there will be ALWAYS someone who doesn’t like you.
SO HERE IT GOES:
1. Abortion would be legal as far as the united states is concerned. Yeah, I said it, and here is why: I see WAY too many stupid people having kids(my sister in law being one of them), dooming the kid for all eternity. Don’t believe me? Watch an episode of Maury or Jerry Springer.
2. Outsourcing to foreign countries such as India or China: I will put a fucking stop to that shit. Back in world war II, I don’t think we really outsourced for anything, it was all about the union.
3. Speaking of which, that is a problem The United States has: we have lost the interest of whats best for OUR nation in the LONG RUN. We are too concerned with keeping everyone INSIDE and OUTSIDE happy.
4. Afghanistan: Quit pussy-footing around. I’ll outline a whole new strategy which is: bomb their asses into fucking submission and send every hard hitter I got with ass kicking in mind, into Afghanistan/Pakistan until Bin Laden and his dickhead friends are caught. None of this hearts and minds bullshit. The tribal nomads don’t give a fuck about our modern ways, and they never will, and its best for them anyway.
5. Speaking of which, Clint Eastwood will be my Secretary of Defense. We need an ass kicker when it comes to war, not some sleazy politician. Besides, who is going to argue with the guy who made the Smith and Wesson .44 Magnum famous?
6. If you are in Senate or Congress, if I catch you taking bribes or misappropriating funds, I will on Live TV seize that money, and donate it to the AMERICAN-based Charity of the nations choosing by Internet vote. Sorry “Save the Children of Congo”: that’s American tax dollars money.
7. If we can’t afford it as a nation, Tax Dollars won’t pay for it.
8. Foreign Policy: Ok. You want foreign policy and diplomacy? You don’t fly to India and take the prime minister to a nice lunch and then out to golf. You take him to a damn strip club, with a bottle Crystal or whatever the fuck he drinks, buy him a lapdance and give him $1,000 USD spending money. Then you can negotiate anything out of ‘em. It’s not that complicated. A man’s weakness is usually tits and ass.
9. Secretary of Agriculture: Cheech!
10. If you are female and under 17 you will NOT wear thong underwear or show cleavage.
11. In fact, if you are under 18, female and pregnant your kid will be aborted or adopted REGARDLESS. You are NOT capable of being a good mom, no matter how much you say it. You are a dumbass minor who made a dumb fuck decision which resulted in a mistake.
12. Felons: Yes, you CAN serve in the military UNLESS you are a Mass-murderer, Sex offender, or sick-fuck. Criminals tend to be very resourceful, smart, and innovative and if they want to kill people might as well do it for the US Government. Put Charles Manson in Afghanistan and he’ll make soldiers out of the women and he’ll kill Bin Laden for being a false prophet. Trust me…OH AND they can win back their right to vote once they serve their term in the military.
13. CENSORSHIP: I’m all for free speech/expression, but if you are Nancy Grace who makes a media outrage out of missing white girls, then a secret service agent should be able to go up, put a gun to your head and tell you to shut the fuck up.
14. Death Penalty: all for it. Heck, if they RAPE and/OR MURDER a CHILD then THEY SHOULD BE SHOT IN THE HEAD. How’s THAT for Cruel and Unusual? And if you think that’s “Cruel and unusual” then expect to be shot in the leg and be told to shut the fuck up.
15. You know those people who protest soldiers funerals? Exile.
16. Secretary of State: Megan Fox. THAT’ll get their attention…
17. WAR: I know I touched base on this a bit but seriously. Hearts and Minds don’t do shit. Keen strategy, moving right for a objective, the right mentality, and some serious firepower win wars. Hearts and Minds = A country full of people who are trying to kill you….with a brand new school built by American Tax Dollars.
I was born in Virginia and raised in the south so I can say this: You want to win a war? Ask General Sherman. Or Patton. Or Macarthur. Look at the Civil War: we cut supply lines and bombed their asses into submission. Sherman came through with a message: you support the confederacy, you will pay. We are coming, you better fucking run. World War II. D-Day. Countries banded together with the objective of wiping out evil and we hit them HARD and we kept GOING. The term “we brake for nobody” comes to mind. And you didn’t have to worry about innocent civilians or women in children too much: they knew what was up, and they either ran or hid, which was fucking smart. Somewhere after Korea the US adopted this policy of Police Actions and Humanitarian efforts and Hearts and Minds. Fuck that shit. Howabout KICK FUCKING ASS! Look at Japan: We bombed their asses BACK TO THE STONE AGE ALMOST and ya know? They haven’t fucked with us since.
18. IN: THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE IN SCHOOLS OUT: Teen Mom, Skins, 16 and Pregnant.
19. IMMIGRATION: Uh….this ones iffy because I have a fiancee from Central America…WAIT DO NOT FLIP OUT YET: She’s hot, she is educated(going for Bachelors in Business Management), she’s SANE, she’s not pregnant, no kids, AND she can legitimately work AND we’re doing it THE LEGAL WAY. She’s not going to be taking Construction jobs or anything like that(She wants to sell houses in Real Estate). Think spanish version of Emma Watson. Yeah see? Told you she was hot.
20. THE DEBT: Yeah we gotta switch currencies unless China decides “yeah don’t worry about it. Debt erased. Just buy me another lap dance and you got a deal.”
21. GITMO AND HAVING PRISONERS OF WAR TRIED IN CRIMINAL COURTS: No. No no no. No no no FUCKING NO. They are PRISONERS OF WAR. That means WAR TRIBUNALS. And get moving. Every day these Suicide bomber wannabe fucks sit in puke, its TAX DOLLAR MONEY WE DO NOT HAVE. Either kill him, kick ‘em out, but JEEZ COME ON! And remember the Pirates of Somolia? It didn’t need to be that complex. Just grab the little puke, drop his Somolian Pirate ass in Sierra Leone and let them sort him out(“But he’s only 17! That’s Cruel and Unusual?” “Yeah well he should of thought about that BEFORE he took American Hostages.”)
22. MY PARTY: THE ASS KICKING PARTY.
Until next time...
Xander, out.
------
For this and more, go to my website at happiestloser dot blogspot dot com.
NOTE: Questions? Comments? Ideas? Praise? Hatemail? Email me. Don't just post a "re:" on craigslist. Post a "re:' on craigslist and forward it to me. I NEED FEEDBACK DAMNIT!
-----------
I noticed as of recently, that ever since even BEFORE I could vote, the United States Government has YET to do a SINGLE THING that makes me happy. This country now sucks. Our country is broke, and we’re too worried about being “PC”.
But if I was president, things would go different and heres why: I’m one of those that doesn’t care if something I do or say offends people, as long as what I do/say proves a point or accomplishes a objective. And let’s face it sportsfans: If you are on TV or in view of the public, eventually you are going to offend someone, and there will be ALWAYS someone who doesn’t like you.
SO HERE IT GOES:
1. Abortion would be legal as far as the united states is concerned. Yeah, I said it, and here is why: I see WAY too many stupid people having kids(my sister in law being one of them), dooming the kid for all eternity. Don’t believe me? Watch an episode of Maury or Jerry Springer.
2. Outsourcing to foreign countries such as India or China: I will put a fucking stop to that shit. Back in world war II, I don’t think we really outsourced for anything, it was all about the union.
3. Speaking of which, that is a problem The United States has: we have lost the interest of whats best for OUR nation in the LONG RUN. We are too concerned with keeping everyone INSIDE and OUTSIDE happy.
4. Afghanistan: Quit pussy-footing around. I’ll outline a whole new strategy which is: bomb their asses into fucking submission and send every hard hitter I got with ass kicking in mind, into Afghanistan/Pakistan until Bin Laden and his dickhead friends are caught. None of this hearts and minds bullshit. The tribal nomads don’t give a fuck about our modern ways, and they never will, and its best for them anyway.
5. Speaking of which, Clint Eastwood will be my Secretary of Defense. We need an ass kicker when it comes to war, not some sleazy politician. Besides, who is going to argue with the guy who made the Smith and Wesson .44 Magnum famous?
6. If you are in Senate or Congress, if I catch you taking bribes or misappropriating funds, I will on Live TV seize that money, and donate it to the AMERICAN-based Charity of the nations choosing by Internet vote. Sorry “Save the Children of Congo”: that’s American tax dollars money.
7. If we can’t afford it as a nation, Tax Dollars won’t pay for it.
8. Foreign Policy: Ok. You want foreign policy and diplomacy? You don’t fly to India and take the prime minister to a nice lunch and then out to golf. You take him to a damn strip club, with a bottle Crystal or whatever the fuck he drinks, buy him a lapdance and give him $1,000 USD spending money. Then you can negotiate anything out of ‘em. It’s not that complicated. A man’s weakness is usually tits and ass.
9. Secretary of Agriculture: Cheech!
10. If you are female and under 17 you will NOT wear thong underwear or show cleavage.
11. In fact, if you are under 18, female and pregnant your kid will be aborted or adopted REGARDLESS. You are NOT capable of being a good mom, no matter how much you say it. You are a dumbass minor who made a dumb fuck decision which resulted in a mistake.
12. Felons: Yes, you CAN serve in the military UNLESS you are a Mass-murderer, Sex offender, or sick-fuck. Criminals tend to be very resourceful, smart, and innovative and if they want to kill people might as well do it for the US Government. Put Charles Manson in Afghanistan and he’ll make soldiers out of the women and he’ll kill Bin Laden for being a false prophet. Trust me…OH AND they can win back their right to vote once they serve their term in the military.
13. CENSORSHIP: I’m all for free speech/expression, but if you are Nancy Grace who makes a media outrage out of missing white girls, then a secret service agent should be able to go up, put a gun to your head and tell you to shut the fuck up.
14. Death Penalty: all for it. Heck, if they RAPE and/OR MURDER a CHILD then THEY SHOULD BE SHOT IN THE HEAD. How’s THAT for Cruel and Unusual? And if you think that’s “Cruel and unusual” then expect to be shot in the leg and be told to shut the fuck up.
15. You know those people who protest soldiers funerals? Exile.
16. Secretary of State: Megan Fox. THAT’ll get their attention…
17. WAR: I know I touched base on this a bit but seriously. Hearts and Minds don’t do shit. Keen strategy, moving right for a objective, the right mentality, and some serious firepower win wars. Hearts and Minds = A country full of people who are trying to kill you….with a brand new school built by American Tax Dollars.
I was born in Virginia and raised in the south so I can say this: You want to win a war? Ask General Sherman. Or Patton. Or Macarthur. Look at the Civil War: we cut supply lines and bombed their asses into submission. Sherman came through with a message: you support the confederacy, you will pay. We are coming, you better fucking run. World War II. D-Day. Countries banded together with the objective of wiping out evil and we hit them HARD and we kept GOING. The term “we brake for nobody” comes to mind. And you didn’t have to worry about innocent civilians or women in children too much: they knew what was up, and they either ran or hid, which was fucking smart. Somewhere after Korea the US adopted this policy of Police Actions and Humanitarian efforts and Hearts and Minds. Fuck that shit. Howabout KICK FUCKING ASS! Look at Japan: We bombed their asses BACK TO THE STONE AGE ALMOST and ya know? They haven’t fucked with us since.
18. IN: THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE IN SCHOOLS OUT: Teen Mom, Skins, 16 and Pregnant.
19. IMMIGRATION: Uh….this ones iffy because I have a fiancee from Central America…WAIT DO NOT FLIP OUT YET: She’s hot, she is educated(going for Bachelors in Business Management), she’s SANE, she’s not pregnant, no kids, AND she can legitimately work AND we’re doing it THE LEGAL WAY. She’s not going to be taking Construction jobs or anything like that(She wants to sell houses in Real Estate). Think spanish version of Emma Watson. Yeah see? Told you she was hot.
20. THE DEBT: Yeah we gotta switch currencies unless China decides “yeah don’t worry about it. Debt erased. Just buy me another lap dance and you got a deal.”
21. GITMO AND HAVING PRISONERS OF WAR TRIED IN CRIMINAL COURTS: No. No no no. No no no FUCKING NO. They are PRISONERS OF WAR. That means WAR TRIBUNALS. And get moving. Every day these Suicide bomber wannabe fucks sit in puke, its TAX DOLLAR MONEY WE DO NOT HAVE. Either kill him, kick ‘em out, but JEEZ COME ON! And remember the Pirates of Somolia? It didn’t need to be that complex. Just grab the little puke, drop his Somolian Pirate ass in Sierra Leone and let them sort him out(“But he’s only 17! That’s Cruel and Unusual?” “Yeah well he should of thought about that BEFORE he took American Hostages.”)
22. MY PARTY: THE ASS KICKING PARTY.
Until next time...
Xander, out.
------
For this and more, go to my website at happiestloser dot blogspot dot com.
NOTE: Questions? Comments? Ideas? Praise? Hatemail? Email me. Don't just post a "re:" on craigslist. Post a "re:' on craigslist and forward it to me. I NEED FEEDBACK DAMNIT!
Monday, September 27, 2010
One Crazy Weekend Part 2
So, I made my way back to FBC where I ran into my friend Dustin, who informed me Chris would be there soon with his new girlfriend, Melissa.
"What is she like?" I inquired. Chris has a weird track record of women....
"She's cool dude. A little thick but she's awesome. She takes good care of him. You will like her."
I bought him a beer and as we proceeded to get shit faced, Chris arrived, who introduced me to his girlfriend Melissa.
Now, Melissa, and I know eachother.
FLASHBACK TO MAY...
I had arrived at the Brit to meet Chris after just returning from Spring Break in Guatemala. He left because he was tired and I was pissed because now I was here and nobody to hang with.
I walked in to find a private party of sorts, with a bunch of girls dancing sexy everywhere.
It was then, the DJ kicked on a pole dancing contest.
The best one, was this ...curvy blonde. She won first place, and was doing her encore. She leaned over a chair, pushing her cleavage towards me. I checked my pockets and, all I had was Q1 Guatemalan Currency. I'll give you a hint: 1 USD = 8Q. Translation: it was worthless, and I put it down her shirt!
She seemed happy at first, til she looked at it with closer inspection and immedietly got pissed off!
"WHAT IS THIS!?" she approached me, glaring as she held out the Q1 note. "IS THIS COUNTERFEIT!?"
"No." I began to laugh. "It's Guatemalan currency. I just got back from Latin America."
She walked away shaking her head.
-------------
Flash forward to now:
We both, as we shook hands, made a face and said "I know you from somewhere..."
Chris was in disbelief. "Wait, y'all know eachother?"
"Yeah..." I said. "But I can't remember how..." Then it hit me.
"Wait, several months ago...you were at the brit...Pole Dancing contest...and I gave her GUATEMALAN MONEY!"
She gasped. "YOU!"
I turned to Chris. "THIS IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND!? DUDE SHES AWESOME! A real keeper."
We then proceeded to get TOTALLY WRECKED. Some highlights according to Chris and his girlfriend:
1. I told the story how Chris and I got into a full-blown John-Woo style BB GUN(read: Air Pistols, not Airsoft) shootout in his kitchen.
2. Apparently while I was at peek wrecked-ness, I stood up, tried to climb onto the roof of FBC from the back deck muttering something about Jason Bourne and "Spiderman". They had to pull me down.
3. I went to the bathroom after FBC shut down for the night, and the Bartender decided to put on that Motley Crue song "GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS" from the Juke Box.
I stumbled out yelling "WHERE ARE THE STRIPPERS?" while looking around.
4. While waiting in line for above-said bathroom this Cougar-lady a tube top walked by. "Sweet! Cougars are here." I said to Dustin.
Guy in line next to me: Umm...That's my wife.
Me: er...ok. Correction: Sweet! Cougar-wives are here.
Dustin to Guy: Ignore him.
5. (after looking around at the Last Call crowd) "Why do all the women here look like Dead Hookers?"
Finally the decision was made to leave my car and drive back to my Suite for pizza and drinks, where we passed out afterwards....
Stay tuned for part 3
"What is she like?" I inquired. Chris has a weird track record of women....
"She's cool dude. A little thick but she's awesome. She takes good care of him. You will like her."
I bought him a beer and as we proceeded to get shit faced, Chris arrived, who introduced me to his girlfriend Melissa.
Now, Melissa, and I know eachother.
FLASHBACK TO MAY...
I had arrived at the Brit to meet Chris after just returning from Spring Break in Guatemala. He left because he was tired and I was pissed because now I was here and nobody to hang with.
I walked in to find a private party of sorts, with a bunch of girls dancing sexy everywhere.
It was then, the DJ kicked on a pole dancing contest.
The best one, was this ...curvy blonde. She won first place, and was doing her encore. She leaned over a chair, pushing her cleavage towards me. I checked my pockets and, all I had was Q1 Guatemalan Currency. I'll give you a hint: 1 USD = 8Q. Translation: it was worthless, and I put it down her shirt!
She seemed happy at first, til she looked at it with closer inspection and immedietly got pissed off!
"WHAT IS THIS!?" she approached me, glaring as she held out the Q1 note. "IS THIS COUNTERFEIT!?"
"No." I began to laugh. "It's Guatemalan currency. I just got back from Latin America."
She walked away shaking her head.
-------------
Flash forward to now:
We both, as we shook hands, made a face and said "I know you from somewhere..."
Chris was in disbelief. "Wait, y'all know eachother?"
"Yeah..." I said. "But I can't remember how..." Then it hit me.
"Wait, several months ago...you were at the brit...Pole Dancing contest...and I gave her GUATEMALAN MONEY!"
She gasped. "YOU!"
I turned to Chris. "THIS IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND!? DUDE SHES AWESOME! A real keeper."
We then proceeded to get TOTALLY WRECKED. Some highlights according to Chris and his girlfriend:
1. I told the story how Chris and I got into a full-blown John-Woo style BB GUN(read: Air Pistols, not Airsoft) shootout in his kitchen.
2. Apparently while I was at peek wrecked-ness, I stood up, tried to climb onto the roof of FBC from the back deck muttering something about Jason Bourne and "Spiderman". They had to pull me down.
3. I went to the bathroom after FBC shut down for the night, and the Bartender decided to put on that Motley Crue song "GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS" from the Juke Box.
I stumbled out yelling "WHERE ARE THE STRIPPERS?" while looking around.
4. While waiting in line for above-said bathroom this Cougar-lady a tube top walked by. "Sweet! Cougars are here." I said to Dustin.
Guy in line next to me: Umm...That's my wife.
Me: er...ok. Correction: Sweet! Cougar-wives are here.
Dustin to Guy: Ignore him.
5. (after looking around at the Last Call crowd) "Why do all the women here look like Dead Hookers?"
Finally the decision was made to leave my car and drive back to my Suite for pizza and drinks, where we passed out afterwards....
Stay tuned for part 3
One Crazy Weekend
So in the late hours of Wenesday night, as I cruised to work in my trusty chariot: I came up with a crazy idea. Motivated by a fire that burns within, I decided that after I got off work(7 AM the following morning) I would cruise to Santa Cruz where I would book a Suite at a hotel and party with old friends like a rock star, no holds barred.
So sure enough, on my lunch break I booked a Business Suite that lay a 5 minute drive from Capitola Beach, but it wouldn't be available til 3 PM. I had to improvise: I would drive to Mom's house, say hi, bullshit for 30 minutes or so, and go to bed.
Once I arrived at my mom's house, I stuck to the plan, nuff said. I said hi, asked how she was doing, talked for a bit, went to bed in the guest bedroom. As I lay in that bed I thought of the countless couples who have screwed in that bed. I couldn't help but wonder, despite the fact it had been cleaned numerous times, would I get herpes or something?
No matter. At 2:00 PM my alarm on my watch beeped and I got ready. Thing was, I didn't have any clothes or supplies. I did however have some cologne and my laptop and my work clothes so I had the OK essentials but I needed some "gear".
That said, after checking into my new room I went to the mall just around the corner.
As I walked down one of the concourses towards American Eagle, Gamestop, Express and SPRINT, I saw a sight that took my breathe away.
I saw my ex, the ex, the one who did me wrong, who betrayed my dying heart, who left me wounded for many years, walking towards me...PUSHING A BABY CARRIAGE!
Apparently alot can happen in 3 years.
Every memory I tried to erase, came flooding back in my face like a wall of fire!
I instantly ran into game stop, watching as she moved along to god knows where.
Half of me, was shaken up by what I just saw.
The other half of me, got over it real quick and was glad that little beast on wheels wasn't mine, which it EASILY could have been(but wasn't). I'm better off now. I have a better woman: someone more classy, more beautiful, and not as ...well...skanky.
"I would be laughing if I were you." said a friend, Chris. "The kind of laugh like Nelson from Simpsons. Shes the one with a baby, not you. Trust me on this. You are better off.(Note: Chris has a kid from a evil ex).
So, after getting some clubber clothes, some pizza, booze I returned to base. Some pizza, some techno, I got ready to go and then the pre-gaming began:
Coke Red Mountain Dew + Vodka = AWESOME. Just 1 did the job.
From there, I drove to my old stomping ground, DBC in Capitola Beach.
WTF? Where was everyone?? It sucked!
This place used to be CRAZY by 8:30!
And where the hell was Chris? Or My friend Dustin?
Grrr. I decided to walk along the beach. It was a full moon, the ocean unually calm as I walked the coast line chugging my covert "Code Red Cocktail". I climbed a life guard tower and sat, looking out at the bay as the moon reflected off the calm waters.
It was there I began to think: Was I really better off? What was I doing? What was I doing here?? What did the future hold??? I then sent out via cell phone a status on my facebook: I WILL SETTLE FOR NOTHING LESS THAN INSANITY.
To be continued...
So sure enough, on my lunch break I booked a Business Suite that lay a 5 minute drive from Capitola Beach, but it wouldn't be available til 3 PM. I had to improvise: I would drive to Mom's house, say hi, bullshit for 30 minutes or so, and go to bed.
Once I arrived at my mom's house, I stuck to the plan, nuff said. I said hi, asked how she was doing, talked for a bit, went to bed in the guest bedroom. As I lay in that bed I thought of the countless couples who have screwed in that bed. I couldn't help but wonder, despite the fact it had been cleaned numerous times, would I get herpes or something?
No matter. At 2:00 PM my alarm on my watch beeped and I got ready. Thing was, I didn't have any clothes or supplies. I did however have some cologne and my laptop and my work clothes so I had the OK essentials but I needed some "gear".
That said, after checking into my new room I went to the mall just around the corner.
As I walked down one of the concourses towards American Eagle, Gamestop, Express and SPRINT, I saw a sight that took my breathe away.
I saw my ex, the ex, the one who did me wrong, who betrayed my dying heart, who left me wounded for many years, walking towards me...PUSHING A BABY CARRIAGE!
Apparently alot can happen in 3 years.
Every memory I tried to erase, came flooding back in my face like a wall of fire!
I instantly ran into game stop, watching as she moved along to god knows where.
Half of me, was shaken up by what I just saw.
The other half of me, got over it real quick and was glad that little beast on wheels wasn't mine, which it EASILY could have been(but wasn't). I'm better off now. I have a better woman: someone more classy, more beautiful, and not as ...well...skanky.
"I would be laughing if I were you." said a friend, Chris. "The kind of laugh like Nelson from Simpsons. Shes the one with a baby, not you. Trust me on this. You are better off.(Note: Chris has a kid from a evil ex).
So, after getting some clubber clothes, some pizza, booze I returned to base. Some pizza, some techno, I got ready to go and then the pre-gaming began:
Coke Red Mountain Dew + Vodka = AWESOME. Just 1 did the job.
From there, I drove to my old stomping ground, DBC in Capitola Beach.
WTF? Where was everyone?? It sucked!
This place used to be CRAZY by 8:30!
And where the hell was Chris? Or My friend Dustin?
Grrr. I decided to walk along the beach. It was a full moon, the ocean unually calm as I walked the coast line chugging my covert "Code Red Cocktail". I climbed a life guard tower and sat, looking out at the bay as the moon reflected off the calm waters.
It was there I began to think: Was I really better off? What was I doing? What was I doing here?? What did the future hold??? I then sent out via cell phone a status on my facebook: I WILL SETTLE FOR NOTHING LESS THAN INSANITY.
To be continued...
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
News Rant
So in my (ahem) temporary assignment at work I don't get to watch anything cool on TV most of the time BUT I DOOO get to listen to FOXNEWS all god damned night and with that it's time for another NEWS RANT!
#1: MORE NEW YORK MOSQUE NEWS
So now idiots are holding prayer meetings at the construction site of the planned Mosque in NYC despite the dangers that SOMETHING COULD FALL ON THEIR HEADS AND CRUSH THEIR SKULLS.
Ya know...it IS afterall a construction site. Not saying muslims are idiots, but if you are a idiot, that is it: faith doesn't play a part in that...
#2: PHOTOS RELEASED OF CALEY ANTHONY ON DAY OF HER DISSAPEARANCE
Aww how cute she's in the pink shirt they found next to the body....
Are they STILL talking about this? It's so old news.
I'm a Criminal Justice major and I don't even give a shit. Do you?
#4: JWOWW OF JERSEY SHORE REPORTEDLY IN TALKS WITH PLAYBOYS
I think I just threw up in my mouth. She's NASTY plastic fantastic. And taking a filtered photo of her naked and adding in some gloss and some airbrushing ain't gonna help.
In fact, who the hell reads playboy anymore? To me that was "training porn" when I was 9. You know, the porn you read and watch in preperation for the REALLY good stuff you see later in your years...
#5: THE SITUATION ON DANCING WITH THE STARS
Ok I confess: I have not seen a single episode, not even a mere 1 minute, of Jersey Shore. I never had to because I know what it entails.
However, I will say this, I wish I GOT PAID THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO JUST SHOW UP AT PARTIES. Yeesh.
#6: LINDSEY LOHAN FAILS DRUG TEST
Didn't we read this same story a few months ago, a few months before that, a few months befor that, AND AGAIN before that!?
Am I the only one not fucking surprised?
The solution is simple people: Lindsey Lohan fails drug tests, because thats what she does.
Paris Hilton: she gets off light on drug/DUI charges with money because THATS WHAT SHE DOES.
The Situation gets paid to act like a douche because THATS WHAT SHE DOES.
Who honestly cares??
IN LOCAL NEWS: MAYOR CANIDATE OF OAKLAND GETS ROBBED
Lady, I got something to tell ya: Welcome to Oakland.
AND FINALLY: MORE FEARS OVER GAS MAIN LINES IN SAN JOSE
Ok, enough already. If you are really concerned about the gas lines in the bay area you should head over to my place after my housemates and I go out for Chinese.
Til next time, Xander, out.
#1: MORE NEW YORK MOSQUE NEWS
So now idiots are holding prayer meetings at the construction site of the planned Mosque in NYC despite the dangers that SOMETHING COULD FALL ON THEIR HEADS AND CRUSH THEIR SKULLS.
Ya know...it IS afterall a construction site. Not saying muslims are idiots, but if you are a idiot, that is it: faith doesn't play a part in that...
#2: PHOTOS RELEASED OF CALEY ANTHONY ON DAY OF HER DISSAPEARANCE
Aww how cute she's in the pink shirt they found next to the body....
Are they STILL talking about this? It's so old news.
I'm a Criminal Justice major and I don't even give a shit. Do you?
#4: JWOWW OF JERSEY SHORE REPORTEDLY IN TALKS WITH PLAYBOYS
I think I just threw up in my mouth. She's NASTY plastic fantastic. And taking a filtered photo of her naked and adding in some gloss and some airbrushing ain't gonna help.
In fact, who the hell reads playboy anymore? To me that was "training porn" when I was 9. You know, the porn you read and watch in preperation for the REALLY good stuff you see later in your years...
#5: THE SITUATION ON DANCING WITH THE STARS
Ok I confess: I have not seen a single episode, not even a mere 1 minute, of Jersey Shore. I never had to because I know what it entails.
However, I will say this, I wish I GOT PAID THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO JUST SHOW UP AT PARTIES. Yeesh.
#6: LINDSEY LOHAN FAILS DRUG TEST
Didn't we read this same story a few months ago, a few months before that, a few months befor that, AND AGAIN before that!?
Am I the only one not fucking surprised?
The solution is simple people: Lindsey Lohan fails drug tests, because thats what she does.
Paris Hilton: she gets off light on drug/DUI charges with money because THATS WHAT SHE DOES.
The Situation gets paid to act like a douche because THATS WHAT SHE DOES.
Who honestly cares??
IN LOCAL NEWS: MAYOR CANIDATE OF OAKLAND GETS ROBBED
Lady, I got something to tell ya: Welcome to Oakland.
AND FINALLY: MORE FEARS OVER GAS MAIN LINES IN SAN JOSE
Ok, enough already. If you are really concerned about the gas lines in the bay area you should head over to my place after my housemates and I go out for Chinese.
Til next time, Xander, out.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Survey because I was bored
1. Celeb you most resemble: I get Adam Levine from Maroon5 frequently. He's 2 years older than me.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Black
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Hell yeah, she's my fiancee.
4.Do you plan outfits? Yes
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Tired
6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red? My co-workers bag of Dorritos.
7. Do you say aim or a-i-m? A-I-M
8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? I dreamed my fiancee and her cousins were doing a lip sync to Spice Girls "Too Much". Wow...
9. Did you meet anybody new today? No
10. What are you craving right now? Sleep
11. Do you floss? I should..
12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? patch?
13. When was the last time you talked on aim? Today
14. Are you emotional? Can be
15. Would you dance to the taco song? Whats the taco song?
16. Have you ever counted to 1,000? I got better things to do with my time
17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Lick it
18. Do you like your hair? Sometimes
19. Do you like yourself? Yes, I'm awesome
20. Have you ever met a celebrity? Chris Carter: Creator of the X-Files
21. Do you like cottage cheese? No
22. What are you listening to right now? maroon5
23. How many countries have you visited? 2
24. Are your parents strict? no
25. Would you go sky diving? Maybe
26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Yes so I can spit in his food
27. Would you throw potatoes at him? Nah. Too dynamic. I operate on a more covert level
28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in? No
29. Have you ever been in a castle? Yes...Castillo San Felipe en Rio Dulce, Guatemala...awesome!
30. Do you rent movies often? no
31. Who sits in behind you in your math class? My study group partner Claire.
32. Have you made a prank phone call? Yes
33. Do you own a gun? No but I want a H&K G36..no wait..Alexander Arms DMR in 6.5mm GRendel!
34. Can you count backwards from 74? No
35. Who are you going to be with tonight? My classmates
36. Brown or white eggs? White
37. Do you own something from Hot Topic? Yes..2 Racoon City Police badges
38. Ever been on a train? Yes
39. Ever been in love? I'm in love now
40. Do you have a cell-phone? Yes
41. Are you too forgiving? No the direct opposite.
42. Do you use chap stick? No
43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow? Working
44. Can you use chop sticks? Yes
45. Ever have cream puffs? Yes
46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? Yeah
47. What would be your super power: To go back in time and fix stuff
48. What was the last CD you bought? A techno CD
49. Boys or girls? Girls!
50. What is your bus number for school? Never rode the bus
51. Is your hair curly? no
52. Last time you cried? Dunno about cry but I got choked up in Toy Story 3
53. Ever walked into a wall? Yes
54. Do looks matter? Its like 50/50
55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun? Yep
56. Have you ever slapped someone? Yes my friend Jason
57. Favorite time of the year? Summer
58. Favorite color? Blue
59. Are you sarcastic? Sometimes
60. Do you have any tattoos? No
61. The last person you held hands with? My fiancee
62. Do you sleep with the TV on?I can't. The noise gets on my nerves.
63. Where was your default picture taken at? My old house.
64. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Yes
65. Do you like your life right now? Could be better but yeah
66. How often do you talk on the phone? Alot
67. What is your favorite animal? So many choices....uh...Raccoons...Wolves...
68. What was the most recent thing you bought? A Monster
69. Do you have good vision? No I'm blind
70. Can you hula hoop? No
71. Could you ever forgive a cheater? At cards sure
72. Do you have a job? Yes
73. Can you handle the truth? Yes
74. What are you wearing? Black slacks, black grey-striped shirt
75. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Black
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Hell yeah, she's my fiancee.
4.Do you plan outfits? Yes
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Tired
6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red? My co-workers bag of Dorritos.
7. Do you say aim or a-i-m? A-I-M
8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? I dreamed my fiancee and her cousins were doing a lip sync to Spice Girls "Too Much". Wow...
9. Did you meet anybody new today? No
10. What are you craving right now? Sleep
11. Do you floss? I should..
12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? patch?
13. When was the last time you talked on aim? Today
14. Are you emotional? Can be
15. Would you dance to the taco song? Whats the taco song?
16. Have you ever counted to 1,000? I got better things to do with my time
17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Lick it
18. Do you like your hair? Sometimes
19. Do you like yourself? Yes, I'm awesome
20. Have you ever met a celebrity? Chris Carter: Creator of the X-Files
21. Do you like cottage cheese? No
22. What are you listening to right now? maroon5
23. How many countries have you visited? 2
24. Are your parents strict? no
25. Would you go sky diving? Maybe
26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Yes so I can spit in his food
27. Would you throw potatoes at him? Nah. Too dynamic. I operate on a more covert level
28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in? No
29. Have you ever been in a castle? Yes...Castillo San Felipe en Rio Dulce, Guatemala...awesome!
30. Do you rent movies often? no
31. Who sits in behind you in your math class? My study group partner Claire.
32. Have you made a prank phone call? Yes
33. Do you own a gun? No but I want a H&K G36..no wait..Alexander Arms DMR in 6.5mm GRendel!
34. Can you count backwards from 74? No
35. Who are you going to be with tonight? My classmates
36. Brown or white eggs? White
37. Do you own something from Hot Topic? Yes..2 Racoon City Police badges
38. Ever been on a train? Yes
39. Ever been in love? I'm in love now
40. Do you have a cell-phone? Yes
41. Are you too forgiving? No the direct opposite.
42. Do you use chap stick? No
43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow? Working
44. Can you use chop sticks? Yes
45. Ever have cream puffs? Yes
46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? Yeah
47. What would be your super power: To go back in time and fix stuff
48. What was the last CD you bought? A techno CD
49. Boys or girls? Girls!
50. What is your bus number for school? Never rode the bus
51. Is your hair curly? no
52. Last time you cried? Dunno about cry but I got choked up in Toy Story 3
53. Ever walked into a wall? Yes
54. Do looks matter? Its like 50/50
55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun? Yep
56. Have you ever slapped someone? Yes my friend Jason
57. Favorite time of the year? Summer
58. Favorite color? Blue
59. Are you sarcastic? Sometimes
60. Do you have any tattoos? No
61. The last person you held hands with? My fiancee
62. Do you sleep with the TV on?I can't. The noise gets on my nerves.
63. Where was your default picture taken at? My old house.
64. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Yes
65. Do you like your life right now? Could be better but yeah
66. How often do you talk on the phone? Alot
67. What is your favorite animal? So many choices....uh...Raccoons...Wolves...
68. What was the most recent thing you bought? A Monster
69. Do you have good vision? No I'm blind
70. Can you hula hoop? No
71. Could you ever forgive a cheater? At cards sure
72. Do you have a job? Yes
73. Can you handle the truth? Yes
74. What are you wearing? Black slacks, black grey-striped shirt
75. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes
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