HyPeRaCtIvE

Some updates:

Once again, moved. Loving it.

Mom's leaving the hospital...

I recently "Ghost Wrote" for a "CustomersSuck.com" forum using a alias.

BUT a friend recently inspired me to write about something few people know about, a tainted aspect of my childhood that took place just before my 13th birthday....

HYPERACTIVE by Xander

So, neurogical disorders and learning "difficulties" runs rampant in my bloodline. My sister is arguably bipolar, my brother had(has?) learning difficulties, My dad is a sociopath, and my mom suffers from Depression?

Then there is me: Hi. I'm Xander, I'm 29 years old and when I was a kid I was Diagnosed with a fairly new not-known-nor-recognized concept: I had Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.

Explains alot huh? Up until Age 15 even I had seen endless counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists and had taken more ritalin and cylert and Zoloft to start my own street pharmacy(or heck, a drug cartel).

Flashforward to Age 12: I was, after many years in private schools, sent back to Public School.

I thought it would be cool but, I was in for a shock. I had zero friends,was very shy, and I was not used to the fast-paced kill-or-be-killed world that was 7th grade in a city public school filled with rich snobby kids.



Towards the end, my parents recognized my slipping grades, dark demeanor, and quest for isolation. The school psychologist and counselors had told my parents they had cause for concern, and before I know it, courtesy of my at-the-time-psychiatrist "Dr. Pete" sent to a outpatient program at Presbyterian Hospital.

At first, they made it sound cool. He pitched it like a car salesman: I would be out of my classes, but I would be viewed as "present" in school attendance, and my grades too. It was small, with kids just like me, with group counseling and confidence training(we did some trust falls,etc), and, like any other school, I was one by 3 in the afternoon.

But as summer began, the other kids began to be "discharged": going to camps,etc.

Dr. Donald on the other hand, even though I felt normal again, decided to keep me. But where the heck would they put me? I was the only one in the "Outpatient" aspect of the program?

To the "INPATIENT" Unit, thats where AKA A CHILDRENS PSYCHE WARD!

This place had some kids with REAL ISSUES. What sucked was, because I was 12, I couldn't associate with the "Ads": Adolecents: age 13 and up. The "Pre ads" were nowhere near my age: a 5 year old and a 8 year old. Welcome to Hell.

Naturally I picked up on the differences: I was looked upon with more scrutiny: it was rare for a outpatient to have contact with the inpatients. The rules were stricter: i got 15 minutes "time out" and a 1-on-1 counseling session with the on site counselor for giving another patient a "high five"(No joke).

I began to rebel. I constantly complained to Dr. Donald and my mom: Get me out of here. I'm not LIKE them. These kids are FUCKED(ok so I didn't say THAT exactly but you know what I mean).

Mom, did hear me out: I was schedualed for discharge after weeks of extensive evaluation.

Then came my 13th birthday. It was lunch time, and rather than order(or settle) for their shitty ass hospital food, I said "Don't worry about it I'll eat when I get home."

"Why are you not eating?"

"Because this food is horrible."

"Eat. Now."

"Dude, don't sweat it. I'll EAT later"

"No. You will eat now."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

Now, for those of you that are or have teenagers, this no longer cuts it. I needed justification, which, they were not cutting.

"Why can't I just eat later and you leave me alone?"

"Because I said so" said the Therapist. "Why are you giving attitude?"

"Because I said so..." I said defiantly, grabbing a Mountain Dew out of my backpack and popping the top. He took it from me("HEY!") and tossed it in the trash. "I'll order for you..."

and then he proceeded tog et from the cafeteria what was labeled "Shrimp" that was gross, and cold.

I , became pissed off.

End result? Dr. Pete RECCOMENDED TO MY MOM TO SCRAP MY DISCHARGE!

13 year olds usually go to camp in summer. Not me, I was STUCK IN A MENTAL WARD.

And now that I was 13, I was stuck with the other teenagers who were much older and had some serious EVEN WORSE problems: one was in and out due to repeated suicide attempts, another blonde chick(age: 17) had run ins with the law and drugs. Now being a pre-ad was starting to not seem so bad....

Finally, I was being discharged at beginning of August because we were moving to California, and the rest, is history.

Now that I am getting ready to be married and have my own family, I wills ay this: I love my mom, but there are some things that are hard to forgive.

If you think your child may have Learning disorders, get them checked out. And if your child is angry, upset, or disagrees, don't be afraid to hear them out, because BELIEVE ME it beats having your son or daughter spend their summer in a mental house.

Til next time,

Xander, out.

PS: I'm never having my kid put on ANY medication unless THEY ABSOLUTELY NEED IT: ritalin SUCKED!